Bakwaas

Enthused with the success of air hostess profession in India, government of India has drawn up plans to recruit female hostesses for Indian railways. The government plans to establish colleges offering professional courses on railway catering and technology across major parts of the country.

Commenting on the development, a 12^th class girl (humming chaiya chaiyya) said she would love to serve Indian railways as a hostess after graduating from one such institutes in the country. She added that it will be fun to roam around the entire country and meet different type of people, specially the middle class crowd. On the other hand, a passenger in Tapori express (Raju bhai) was highly impressed with the government’s decision and concurred after spitting gutkha from the window, “This will encourage people like me to travel more by train with my friends”.

However, the government plans to recruit rail hostesses in a few trains initially and will charge an additional 100 rupees on the tickets. The initiative will also offer girls who could not make it to the airlines industry an excellent career proposition. Additionally, the government is also formulating a law on eve teasing on train where in people like Raju with bad intentions will be immediately thrown out of the running train. The government is still working on the dress code of the rail hostesses and plans to come out with the same in the coming month.

Words

Words make u laugh, words make u cry...this game of life works on words.

Tell me something about yourself

The other day while I was registering in a website, the page asked me to describe myself in about 200 words. This made me confused (much more than the time when I passed out of my college) and I ended up closing the site. And then while going to sleep; I thought in mind what kind of person I am. I am pretty confident that no one except my family and the next door small kid who always flee (and I gallop when I see him with his father) after seeing me would be interested in that, assuming that these people are still interested in knowing me.

Staying away from family, mostly alone, one learns to do things on his own. This also gives you an opportunity to skip things and embrace procrastination without any scolding. The fused light in my toilet which I have not replaced since a year and the kitchen tap which churn out ten drops of water in every second will be no paramount importance to me unless i have to throw water on my neighbors while attending nature’s call. Abe light jalake kya dekhna hai. But honestly I have learnt to listen and talk to myself. I don’t feel like doing things which makes me cool or happening. I have seen people who literally behave like kids and try to impress other people with talks like visit to happening places and parties, listening to rock music when around people (aur ghar par “jalebi bai”) and all shit. Thank god, I am miles away from such things. I am uncool, stuck-in-old-times, and strange to a lot of people, but I am happy and have learnt to be myself which is really important. Ab kya kahani likhoon apne bare mein..

One more..

Itna sannata kyun hai bhaai

The other day I woke up suddenly from a dreadful dream and realized that I was alive and safe in my apartment. “Mein kahan hoon”, was my first reaction. While, I was getting ready for the corporate rat race, I thought my situation was similar to an old Hindi movie, probably of 80’s where the hero breaks silence with this dialogue after opening his eye in the hospital.

With this I started recalling the classic old famous Hindi movie dialogues which i am presenting here individually with their significance.

• “Mein tumhare bacche ki maa banne wali hoon”: This dialogue used to present a dead look on the hero’s face. He must be thinking oh my god this lady eclipsed my smartness. Lust always shadows it dude.

• "Mai kahti hoon, Door ho jao meri nazron sey": Hero got trapped in the web of heroine’s sexy friend and was caught making out open doors. Kind of deserves it. Abe darwaja to band kar diya hota dumb.

• "Is ghar ke darwaaze, tumhare liye hamesha ke liye band hein": Once I was caught stealing money from my father’s wallet, I was bombarded with this dialogue and shown doors. I went to a garden and eagerly waited for my dad to come and take me home. It didn’t happen and I had to bear a tight slap before getting inside.

• “Thairo! Yeh shaadi nahin ho sakti”: Villain’s lust prevails and he manages to convince heroine’s dad to tie the knot. But our hero is restless and behind bars. He does everything emotionally to negotiate the jailer for a few hours. Kash ye real mein hota sare tihar wale shadi shuda hote.

• "Agar Maa ka doodh piya hai to saamne aa.": This is my favourite one and I still use it on the spur of my anger. Thanks to bollywood J.

• “Tumhari ma aur behan mere kabze mein hai”: This situation happens in late second half of a movie when the villain calls up the hero from his landline number. It sends a signal that the movie will be over soon. Bhaiyo apne girlfriend se hath nikal lo lights kabhi bhi on ho sakte hai.

• "Bhabhi, tumhare haath ki chai peene ko man kar raha hai ": the hero has no aim in life, no time to make spreadsheets or work on a word document, or attend a lecture of satellite communication or sell products. What all he needs is to pass time flirting with women and wandering the entire city and visiting relatives. Kitna lucky hai. Govinda always reminds me in this situation.

• "Inspector! Giraftaar karlo issey": There is a serious war going around in the scene and the villains have already tied the heroine to a pillar or something. You could see hero trying hard to save his love. However, villains leave no coin unturned to beat the guy up. At the end when he gets flat on the ground with tomato sauce flowing down from his forehead and nose and with no hope of saving his girlfriends virginity, the police pops up with this dialogue. We always used to curse the Indian police for coming on time. Paisa to vasool ho jata yaar. Kita ganda hoon na mein.

These dialogues have occupied a special place in our minds and we hear them with little modifications in today’s movies coupled with slangs. Ekk baar, bas ekk bar mere aankho main aankhen daal kay keh do ki tum inhe pasand nahi kartey :) bahut ho gyi dialoguebazi, thoda rest kiya jaye ab :)

pump up the bhangra

I always get surprised with people who underestimate others. I don’t know why, but this puny corporate experience of mine made me experience different types of people and their attitudes. I admit that I am not a master or something and I have many flaws. Failure is really important in life. You would not be able to gulp success anywhere if you do not swill failiure in your life. And I think I am failing everyday, every nano second. But it doesn’t make me a complete loser. Does it?

It just means that your best isn't good enough, not you will always be like that. Nothing is permanent, so cheers, drink beers!!!

PS: The title has nothing to do with the post.

Title soch raha hoon

It’s been months that I have written a new post for my blog. Its not that I was suffering from writers block or something but yes I am definitely busy with other things in life. My mother calls me everyday and with each phone call she moots about my marriage. Haan, its time for me to get settled in life, she says.

It has been months that indigo and Air India people have been tolerating me on most of the Saturday mornings. To be very candid, I have traveled to my home city more than I have visited the nearest mall in my area. No, don’t get any idea that I have joined any airlines. It was all related to marriage and stuff. Its like the blind game on cards, you don’t know which card would pop up at the time of the show. Same happens with arranged marriages. You don’t know anything about the girl you would see.

Last week when I was traveling back to Delhi from Nagpur, there was a lady sitting next to me. The time of departure was around 6 am and I had to reach airport an hour before it. So I decided not to sleep the entire night, and I did that. The plane took off and the lady took out a magazine or journal, I don’t know. But it proclaimed sleep disorders among adults on the cover page. Soon after the “you-can-touch-your-seatbelt” sign, I decided to loose it and start dozing off. On the other seat besides me, there was a man in mid forties. He immediately opened his laptop and started playing with numbers in a balance statement, must be an accounts guy.

During my one and a half hours of journey, both of them turned my neck to the position of my seat as I was in a deep sleep and I must have been using their shoulders to rest my head. The lady doctor might have got a live example of disorders and a new case study for her research. But she didn’t thank me. She could probably perform her research on sleeping in air with the title "head and shoulders". See how I am helping people.

Oops, its time for me to go to bed now. I promise to come soon. Till then, bye…

Joke of the day: Married people think bachelors are lucky because they think during day time and bachelors think married guys are lucky because they think at night. :)

mistakes

One percent mistakes, acceptable, human beings!!!

Sketch

I am back after a long hiatus..Posting one more sketch..Hope you guys would like it.

Brand Decay

Brand building and positioning is arduous and requires gaining consumer trust. But when the brand flourishes with leaps and bounds, gains prominence in the market, it would be a herculean task for any entity to recover the image if it endures failure at some point of time. The trust which has been reposed by people in the brand would take ages to recover. The year 2010 seems like a nightmare for brand icons with Toyota topping the list. The Japanese automaker wrecked havoc over its sticking accelerator pedals while braking systems and steering complaints made it a complete brand failure nominee for the year 2010. God help them please:)

The second brand icon hitting the chart is Tiger Woods who proved it wrong that golf is no more the game of a gentleman now. Although, the activities he was involved with were outside the golf ground, his bedroom temptations got caught in headline-grabbing scandals. His recent perverted sexual practice, a sex tape with his mistress eligible’s him for the porn star awards. However, Swami Bhimanand Dwivedi aka Baba Icchadhari and Shiney Ahuja from India may compete him for the tag. Baba re baba.

The third brand icon hitting a crescendo is the lady from UP, who greeted the currency note garland worth 5 Crores. Moreover, the bee attack investigation case lodged by the BSP supremo qualifies her for the third brand failure nominee.

Iconic brands that fail to match expectations would face the question of brand survival and will be treated with skepticism in the future. Brands are erected by people’s choice and they always have the right to derail these brands failing to conform to their promises, and people do it mercilessly. Hence promises must be made with good care and diligently maintained; otherwise I will have to add one more post here over these brand debacles.

Asian Umbrella

We always need a shoulder to lean on when we go through a bad phase in life. But when the situation is equally disconsolate, we tend to rely on the strongest pillar of the house. It exactly came true when the recessionary wave from the US and Europe impeded our growth and seen them counting on us for their survival, and even we needed support. However, the prognosis of Asian economy was much better than other developed countries in times when the whole world was under the tantrums of global financial slowdown.

By September 2009, it was clear that India and China would be the first countries to emerge out of the financial slump, considering a strong domestic banking system, government initiatives to boost foreign direct investment with a low-cost advantage, which was once underestimated. This kind of growth, at times when the prospects for the North American and European economies remain ambiguous, offers immense opportunities for the Asian marketplace.

When the recession was at the peak, smart corporations found their way out from the traditional investment destinations such as US and Europe to Asia. As a result, the shift of global economic activity to Asia is accelerating. This supports the survey carried out by KPMG which predicts India to be the world leader in manufacturing investment in the next five years. Now, I don’t want to play with data and statistics to come up with my own conclusion but it’s like an ace in the hole situation for India.

However, this calls for an urgent need to get prepared for the development in terms of infrastructure. Research, Energy, transportation, water, education and other essential things require a solid attention. We should be in a position to adapt to leading-edge technologies in order to monetize this opportunity. Although, India has a potential to play a significant role in the flow of capital, the success totally depends on an excellent economic and fiscal climate, supportive government policies and a passion to win. Let’s get ready to go that extra mile…

cheers!

Engineered

Porxyology: The best subject I have ever learned from my seniors, no matter how long they kept me full Monty and how many blood clots and fractures i have acknowledged during ragging. I believe this kind of ragging is no more active. But i still love them. Believe me, anti ragging committee is the biggest ragging group in the college.

Topology: The best method to copy an engineering drawing sheet, no drafters, no roller scales, no calculators and no brain usage. Just a bucket, a lamp and a plane mirror. Who the hell derived E=MC2, let me topo it.

Vital Stats: Arrange last ten years question papers before examination. Apply all the permutations and combinations to arrive at your own strategic examination paper, else go ahead and read the entire syllabus, check out how many cigarettes you are left with in case of a night out. Alarm clock comes into picture then.

Zero or Hundred (No random variables): I still believe in this funda…Either I want to be at the pinnacle of something or at the bottom watching the next door sexy girl with voluptuous figure…Let me teach her the figure zero mantra.

Combo Tech: Have you ever seen hardcore drunkards swilling alcohol like anything or a big time doper, tell me?? Now tell me have you ever seen an extremely studious guy, a branch topper, you must be saying, yes, of course man what’s new in that. But you will never expect a fusion of these two qualities in a single person; yes they do exist. I still wonder how they managed it.

Disco: The disciplinary committee is always a pain in the ass when you want to do something meaningful and creative. Five to six old asses teaching you how to behave in this shrewd world…but they do have a frustration of not enjoyed life during their college days… poor guys...

Disclaimer: Any views or opinions presented in this post are solely those of the college trends and do not necessarily represent those of the author. The post contains a random load of nonsense and is not intended to apply in your personal life…:) Copyright by Thoughts and Me…The last person who copied my stuff now walks with a limp and speaks with a lisp… Kidding..:)

Analog Nostalgia

As a child i used to watch old Hindi movies where the hero would be the driver’s son, whose life is eclipsed with the clouds of poverty, but still he would wear good clothes , don’t know how. At some point of time, may be in the first half of the movie he comes across his father’s employer’s sexy daughter while helping his dad at work. Then what, he gets his mission in life. He does all sort of nautanki to amuse, flirt and attract the heroine. The heroine would have one more Aashik who will then prevent her from the hero’s intension and serve the screen as the villain.

Before the interval, things will be pretty smooth; love birds will chase each other on hills, parks and boats. But in the second half some tragedy or the other reared its ugly ass as the heroine would come to know about the hero’s economic status, she would then apply all the 4P’s of marketing to convince her dad to accept the hero. Slow version of a happy song will be played in the background. And the best part is that when they make love, the camera will be focused on the sunrise, now it’s our imagination or you may call it sleaziness to understand how they ended their intensive lust. But now the times have changed, so the Indian film industry….But I still get nostalgic when I watch an old movie on the television. Movies like Akhiyo ke zharokhe se, Aashiqui, Kabhi Haan Kabhi Na and Khalnayak (I am a die hard fan of Sanju Baba) are still remembered today no matter how many item songs rakhi sawat does to grab public attention.

With this i remember a song from Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman. It starts with lines “Tu mere sath sath Aasman ke age chal”.“Husn se bhi haseen hai kwab meri jindagi ke, Is khusi se pare hai mod aur bhi khushi ke. Mein dekhta nahi kabhi idhar udhar, bas apni manzilo pe hai meri nazar, dekh mujhko mere Humsufar…”

just love it man…Old is always gold or may be I am turning old. Hahhhaaaa:D

Cheers!

Award..!

I am extremely happy to receive one more award from Gautam, i cannot express my happiness. Thanks a lot man.

So going with the rules, i have to pass this award to more friends, which is as follows,

Komal
Niveditha

Rules:
The award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link.Pass the award to other blogs that you’ve newly discovered.Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.
Cheers!

Vision 2010

Where is that ego and attitude when we puffed up with pride about India as a super power by 2010. Do you remember the BRIC report formulated by Goldman Sachs, which predicted that India and three others (Brazil, Russia and China) would rule the global economic pie chart in the coming years? Has the global financial meltdown eclipsed the growth or we just enjoy boasting our low price haggling skills.

India dreamt of the “Vision 2010” to make the country a global force and one of the largest contributors of technology, exports and manufacturing in the world. The key element in achieving this significant success highlights the importance of an economic freedom, education to ensure sustained productivity, shelter to preserve the human dignity, managing population and creating a competitive infrastructure.

Small and medium-sized enterprises are the backbone of the Indian economy. It is a major source of revenue which plays an important role in enabling India to compete in the world markets. The information and communication technologies (ICT) have witnessed a rapid growth in the past, which still makes India proud. But the industry is still insecure with the feasibility of technology and ERP implementations in the production processes, lack of government incentives and investment opportunities. Just developing business parks and special economic zones will not internationalize India.

Is this all a castle in the air? Remember that 2010 is just a few months away and the biggest challenge which lay in front of us now is to overcome the current recessionary force. An elixir to such situation is to develop a knowledge-centered society that creates new opportunities, developing a safety net which will safeguard employees from loosing jobs through reforms, restructuring of business organizations and up gradation of core infrastructure in all spheres of the economy. Else wait for China to bombard India with more toys and watches :)